[Hayastan]

Hey guys! I am currently writing an essay that deals with my own philosophy but also the one of other persons that influenced mine. To sum up, it's the tale of a soul which is driven into the Underworld and who realizes that she lived a lie since the beginning, that she lurked behind her passions, so there she'll try to find out who she is really. It can have an autobiographical part. The tale is divided in several parts, some where the soul is guided through the Underworld and some which are speeches with some important characters she'll meet one by one. Here is the beginning of the Prologue; I didn't type it all yet (void of time!!) but I hope it'll please you :

Two eyes, watching the universe around her, so close and so different from the world she lived in. These eyes are grey, and they're wide-opened. Behind the filthy pound and beneath a sky full of threatening clouds. The storm grinded, the lightning cleaved the morbid atmosphere, and enlightened the stage. Filth, rottenness, desperation, no more. Unbelievable. She's always seen this world like a dream, like a utopia. Now it's the Government's utopia. Well... Awake, rise, fall, and then cry. They were just waiting for the coming of the Messiah. But the Messiah did not come. Now he just stood in the midst of this very foulness, in the middle of the pound. His eyes reflected the spitefulness and shined as hellfire. Was he the Messiah? Was he the Demon? He held a blade in his hands. He came nearer the girl, and he whispered "I am God, the evil one". He's the Death Angel, thought she. His hand ascended, the blade shined in the lightning, he was smiling outrageously. He's insane, peculiar. The blade cuts deep down her veins, and she felt her whole soul burning. She burned, and she downed into the Inferno.
- Well... said he, one more. Now Lucifer shall reign on the world we reconquered...
He spread his dark wings, and flied away.

"come on, come on... touch me and feel that I am the very lust..."
"leave me alone"
"I'd slaughtered thee for the survival of this world. Just to assert it. Nothing more... Now fall in the Void"
"But this world is the Void"
"Shan't ye undergo more than ye hast never undergone when alive?"

Lust is the hardest feeling to understand. It's so wide... And so many feelings come from it. Among them dwells hate. And hate is the root of wrath. Hatred, one of my reasons of living now, but before, when I was still alive, I loathed this one. Now I understand hate is a part of our willpower. I heard there's a group of philosophers who learned to harden its will. And in the pantheism they made believe, they had to be hard-hearted. And hatred hardened their will. Void of hatred, thus they felt unable to fulfil their fate. They had to feel negative feelings like hate and wrath to survive. They lived a life of seclusion, void of friends, and void of foes. Well I ain't agree with their utter theory, for I think that willpower can play a lot in our life, in our choices, and in our motives, but hate ain't the only feeling to drive our will. There are others, and they lurk in us, 'til we find them. The trick is to find the way to extricate them from the deepest of our soul, to understand them and to construe them well. If we don't leave them out, if they can be benefit for our sakes, so we shall find the good way to get advantage of them. And, even if they're peculiar or disgraceful, it doesn't matter because a feeling, whatever be its representation, cannot be curbed utterly...

"Lay down for me, give me thy soul"
"I ain't ripe yet!"
"I shall make ye lose thy innocence"
"I can't... I can't!!"
"May thy tears awake these barren lands..."

Death is a certain thing. It is the harshest thing to understand, and it's our main reason of living. I didn't want to think about it before, I wanted a long life. But now I control this strength, this poison... Younger I saw death in the eyes; I saw it taking a soul I loved. Now I know everything that dwells in the other side. And I understand why. We are expected to live, and we live to die. When born we are said "welcome to living", but a wicked soul bends above us and says "welcome to dying". For death is our only reason of living. We wish it; we live and we hope for dying. We crave for it, and it's the source of all our desires. The lust we feel is a deathly lust. But it drives our will, and thus we go on, we keep on until the end. That's why I don't understand those who live and who fear death. For my sake death is a kind of present, a reward due to the life we lived, due to our choices. We have to accept it, that's all. According to your belief, death can be seen from two points of view. Or it is a rebirth. You enter in a new life, void of all troubles you got when alive. Or you think it's all over when dead; and you fall in the Vacuum. For Vacuum is Void, Void is Nothingness, and Nothingness is Oblivion. Fertig.

"I am Death, lay down, lay down!!"
"I don't wanna be one with Death! I refuse!"
"Thou shalt not escape to me!"
"I still keep my will"
"Shan't ye lose any strength?"

Harden your will. Accept your fate. Be like a Stoic. And if I say no? I can agree with stoicism without being one. For stoicism has right values. They learn to raise willpower to struggle against pain, fear, harm, misery, agony... And they have strong weapons to face life, to wait for death. They long for death 'cause it's their deliverance. They have the power to abort fear, to borrow it, to leave it out.

A Stoic ignores what is Void!!

"It is my only fear"
"I am afraid of the Void too"
"Everyone fears the Void!"

I am afraid of the Void, yeh. Like every person in this world, and in all the other worlds. Depending of how is Void for your sake. Who has never wondered what there is beyond the universe? There is nothing but the Void. Have you heard about black holes? If you were trapped by a black hole, would you reach the space beyond the Universe? You may know what is concretely the Void. Because, you don't have the faintest idea about this phenomenon, notwithstanding you fear it. Mankind fears what it doesn't know. Mankind fears the unknown, for it never knew what it is. But about all we know, any fear. Keine Furcht! say we. The Void is a thing we can't understand. It's out of reach. It's out of hand.

A Stoic ignores what is the Void because he ignores the fear at all...
A Stoic is void of fear.
Be like a Stoic, be cold as ice, don't feel anything, don't fear anything................

"Now ye feel me and ye fear me, ye don't conform to any rule"
"For my will is changing"
"So ye art ripe to me?"
"I changed my mind"
"Now come to me..."
And Death entered in her soul, poisoned her mind and shattered her heart...

Thus goes Fate on its eternal cycle..............

Fall in the Void you live in yet!!

The Void is everything, and everything is void. It ain't a god, but still Stoicism. God is anywhere, the Void is everywhere. God for a Stoic, Void for a superior man. He talked about it; he was one of the greatest philosophers. The last man. Still I don't remember his name... He loathes God; he's just a fake for his sake. He said that before, the worst blasphemy was the one we committed against God. But God is dead, and thus are these blasphemies. He wrote about the life of a philosopher, I don't remember from where, perhaps from Persia, and this tale was full of wisdom. He was assessing everyone, everything... Heya, I remember now. The one who was void of shame with his words. Nietzsche. My favorite one.
Void are my feelings right now. I've felt so many things that I don't know what to feel. I'm void, and that's all that really matters for my sake. Void of everything, I can think about it. Accursed I've been for feeling forbidden things. I've been in love with someone I praised, whose theory about life and death is one of the greatest. I fell in love with him; I fell in love with Void, I fell in love with death. I've been told that I had to face up life like I shall welcome death, I mean void of fear.

She just entered the Realms of Darkness. Weirdly this world looks less morbid than the world she just left. "I've been given the Kiss of Death; has my heart turned wicked?" She enjoyed quite this atmosphere, a dark mist floated on the ashen path. There were no doubts; they were surrounded by nothingness. The path was narrow, and she was following the Death Angel, blinded by black shadows.
- You said my soul shall be released, she whispered. Where do we go?
- In my kingdom.
- But you said... Blackheart!!
- I didn't tell thee how I'd release thy soul... Now keep moving on. And be careful ye may fall.
The air was clearer, and she could see the Death Angel better. He had two black wings in the back. When he turned back, she could see a young face, pale, with thin and bleak lips, and crimson eyes. His hair was dark and long, floating on his wings. He was dressed in black, slender and uxorious. She was shocked by such appearance for a wicked soul; she didn't expect that. How could he be so spiteful and so sensual at the same time? She kept on walking until something hurt her. It fell on her and the pain was growing intense. The thing rose up, in its dark cloak floating slightly. She saw a skeleton playing fiddle, and her heart filled with dread. A field drew around them. She was unable to move.
- What art ye waiting for? screamed the Death Angel. Fight against!! Slaughter the Fiddler!
- And how?
Now tears were in her eyes. Tears of fear and tears of grief. Ancient wounds were returning, and came to the light.
- Why me? I've never done anything bad; I lived a life of kindness and loyalty!!
- Life must be lived. Evil is a part of it. Now kill him.
She came back ahead the Fiddler and looked at his face. The Fiddler stood on the green, playing a wistful air. She went nearer, and she felt its wide aura enveloping her.
- Thy weapons art fake; they art just illusions. Make them believe!
She focused her wrath on the Fiddler, and a dark blade appeared in her hands. She gripped it and struck the Fiddler with. This one disappeared, like the field and the blade.
- He's dead and gone...
- This world is an illusion. Thou shalt learn to live. Thou hast committed a murder. Now ye can begin.
So they kept on walking, risking falling in the Void at every moment. The Death Angel was far ahead now; she could barely see him, and he was harsh to follow. Thus they kept moving on through this sinuous ashen path...

Void of heart and void of soul!!

I thought I'd never felt things like that. Remember the guy I fell in love with. Not only. What I felt for him was too intense, unspeakable, indescribable, unavoidable, and I never thrived to describe it and to tell about it. My whole heart loved him; I always focused on his utter soul. I've been studying him entirely, thus as his philosophy, and I've been given faith, lust and will. I could harden my will and I didn't need any notion of stoicism for that. I've ever felt grief, sorrow, deception; but I thought about him and these very feelings faded away. His only presence made me blithe. And suddenly I thought about death. Who of us both shall be gone first? If he leaves this world first, what shall I do? Every day that passes by fades away the light in his eyes. I know he shall remain everlastingly, in my mind and in my heart forever and ever if I don't forget him, but the void in my heart shall say me "he's dead and gone, he won't come back" and I'll be aware that he ain't here. But dead or alive I shall always sing out his name, still praising him like he's worthy. For my love and my desires are unbreakable; anything that would happen would shatter my heart and slaughter my soul. I'll never surrender, he'll never wane. I shan't leave him behind; my feelings are over those of the most devoted believer to his god, and I shall never question them. I shan't lurk; if I feel these things, I have a good reason for.

- You loved someone you've never met; spat the Death Angel, standing ahead a door.
"He's less formal than before, what the hell is he turning to??"
The portal was high, forged in dark iron. On the doors were engraved two dragons, belching flames blue and cold.
- Get nearer and open the door.
- But I would burn!
- These flames won't burn you.
- How can you know?
- You didn't face up the Reaper yet. Now open the door. Only the dead are burned by these flames.
- Are you meaning that I ain't dead yet?
- It's obvious.
So she touched the door and opened it. The dragons belched their fire without burning her hand and a violent tornado blowed her behind. She fell in the top of a hill, surrounded by high stones. And another skeleton dressed in ebony stood there.
- The Fiddler was the Soul Seeker; the Reaper is the Soul Collector.
- If I face the Reaper I shall be dead.
- You can't choice.
She made up her blade, and she struck the Reaper with. Instead of killing him, he went away and the Death Angel took his place; he gripped the girl and kissed her vehemently. Yet she felt she was lighter; her spirit raised. She came back on the ashen path, but now the Death Angel was holding her hand.
- Now you received the Kiss of Death and it can't be undone.
He smiled spitefully and leaded her through the Realms of Darkness.
- You slew and you got slain.
- Can't you release me by now?
- You are not ripe yet. I can't afford to let you going now.
- You blackheart! You betrayer! You're such a traitor!!
"I'll keep her soul for my sake forever and ever..."

The worst blasphemy is the blasphemy against God.
God is dead.
Thus dead are these blasphemies.
So are sins and crimes dead too?

More the fear is wide and more the will is strong. We just can build an unstable willpower with common fears. The only one, hidden and lurked in the deepest of our unconscious, the fear of the Void, is felt by every human being, by the entire mankind. Everyone has its own vision of the Void, and for the Void is the Unknown, we fear it for the Unknown is meant by its name, it is a thing so obscure and unstable! And mankind loathes the Unstable, loathes the Void, fears what it ignores; just seek for what is already known. But if you don't face up the Void, you shall never see far beyond, your knowledge shall be very limited.

I face the Void I face my fear.

- Where are we right now?
- We've reached the belt around the heart of the Realms of Darkness, spoke the Death Angel. Although the Void frightens me, we shall fall down.
- For what?
- To reach my kingdom. Usually I never leave it, except for interesting souls. Souls who feel weird things. Like you.
- Are you meaning that my feelings are peculiar?
The Death Angel nodded, and she laid her eyes on a new landscape. The belt he mentioned was drawn by a wide path of black glass, reflecting a bleak light. The mist of ashes and dust floated on a huge circle. Persons and demons, wandering souls and fallen martyrs, went through. A bright light belched from the nonexistent sky. The Death Angel took her in his arms and flied until the path, and she felt a weird feeling invading her, the one she felt for the man she fell in love with. Like if the Death Angel was this man. He suddenly dropped her, just above the black hole in the middle of the circle, and plunged behind her.

And they did fall in the Void...

[Hayastan]

"This man you always think on... If you've never met him, how could you live that kind of feelings?"
"Blithe... and left behind. These feelings are unbridled. I didn't love him; it's more far beyond. You cannot understand."
"Is he so tremendous?"
"Yeh, he does!"
"You ain't unbiased in your feelings. Damnate! What the hell has he got more than the other ones?"

A wistful voice, so stubborn... A trick of light shines fiercely in his eyes. I'm mystified when I stare at him, he did bewitch me. Just plunge your gaze into his, and you shan't extricate anymore. Once you are bound to him, you've reached the point of no return, you can't escape. And his mind! I think that, if I had the chance to reach him, I shall feel his aura from miles away. He talked about death, and he did think a lot about it, my handsome one, Liebe mein auf immer! He established a wide theory from his own experience. I've been seduced by his way of thinking, and now I can't extricate of his enthralment.

"I beseech Thee, don't leave me!"
"I've to come back in my kingdom; my servants shall look after you."
"You shall let me here and leave me behind, like for the other ones!!"
The Death Angel embraced her and she nestled in his chest. He kissed her lips goodbye and promised that he'll be back soon. A demon went nearer and showed her where she'll await. She sat in a dark room and expected.
Now she had tasted the lips of the Death Angel the feeling didn't want to leave. It grew more and more unbridled, and out of control. "I could never tell it, to anyone...". Se was waiting for hours when the Death Angel came back.
- The road towards my kingdom is concretely long. And it may be harsh. But it shall bring you deliverance, and each burden you carry shall fade away.
- Is that the way you'd release my soul?
- Indeed.
The Death Angel took her hand and led her through a path in flames. The mist here was orange and the path was red and brown. She felt she was walking into the crimson eye of the Death Angel. She felt the deathly lust while she was walking, and struggled against a fierce envy of taking the Death Angel in a place far away from here and doing things she might regret when alive.
I fact, death ain't something so fearful. It's the way of releasing our heavy soul, full of burdens and banes; into death there's no sin and there's no crime. Down to the Inferno anything is prohibited, we have more freedom; we can do anything we want.

"You are as uxorious as lust. Death is you but you won't believe. I long for you I pass on! A deathly lust I'd leave behind..."

She tried to advance but she struck on an invisible wall. The death Angel was ahead; he turned back and warned:
- Careful!! Beware of the wall...
- Which wall?
- This one.
The wall suddenly drew in front of her. It seemed to a dark mist, but unbreakable. She couldn't see the Death Angel anymore. She sent her fist on the wall, which remained unbroken. Then she recalled what the Death Angel advised. She made a hammer up, and she stormed the hammer on the wall.
- Yea! screamed the Death Angel. Tear it down!
- Yeah, I'll tear down this wall.
- Let us tear it down, let us tear down this wall!!! he exhorted, and the wall fell.
She ran and she nestled into his arms.
- Well, let us march on...

"I am binding to you but I don't even know your name."
"I am the Death Angel; call me Azraël for the moment. You ain't allowed to know my real name."

They marched on and the flames surrounded them.
- My soul is burning!! she moaned.
- So burn the fire out, replied the Death Angel.
"The inner flame of your lust", but the lust shall remain.
- This fire is too fierce and vehement; I can't burn it out.
- It is just the flame of your folly, which is driven by your lust. And I cannot help you.
"Thou art lorn..." so you have to talk.
- I ain't insane; I am aware of my sinful life and my godless mind, I am aware of each feeling I've ever felt.
- Your feeling were too much unbridled to be curbed, and thus you've been driven lunatic.
- I ain't a lunatic!!
- Prove it and burn this fire out.
- There's no water and I can't make it up.
- You see? You are insane. This fire is just an illusion; it's in your mind.
So she finally saw the truth. It was so obvious! She was so focused on her love that she didn't realize it turned to an obsession. Now she understood. She lived a lie, she lived a sin. !she lived in the Void since the beginning. That's why she feared the Void. She was afraid of her own life, and it explains why she felt no dread when dead, and why she changed so fast next to Azraël. He gave her a helping hand and tried to release her soul. But he was so similar to the other one! She felt the Deathly Lust again, and the fire suddenly disappeared. She came near Azraël, and then gripped him and kissed him fiercely. She let her hands sliding along his chest and said:
- Here and now. I long for you here and now...
- I thought you'd sworn an oath.
- I swore that I'd offer me to the only one I've ever loved. Are you him?
- When Death knocked at my door, it chose me as one of the Soul Collectors. If you are the one who swore this oath long ago, I belong to you utterly.
- Not your body but your soul.
- My soul belongs to you, spoke he with a last kiss. Now you know who I am you are ripe to tell me and to think on it. Soul to soul, thoughts to thoughts. In the Void we fear shall we find deliverance...

Void of you I lived!!
For your sake,
I shall cleave and smit the shadows of my mind!
For my sake,
You lift my spirit up in a godforsaken heaven rounded by hellfire!
For our sake,
We shall meet somewhere bleak for a rebirth!
So let us drift away and fall into daydreams...

[Hayastan]

Part 1 : In The Void

An Oath Sworn Long Ago

This is the only Oath I've ever sworn. I've never loved someone but you; I shan't love anyone since I understood my feelings. I know I can neither curb them nor leave them behind. But I can't say it for it is forbidden and blasphemy. But the facts are here, I am in love with you and I am at the point of no return: so I swear by my flesh and my blood, by my heart and my soul; I'll never stay with another one! Preferring loneliness but I shan't fall in love anymore. You are the only one and you shall be the only one! If I live void of you I'll live void of all the other ones. Void of you, I shan't live at all! I crave for many things: lying next to you and holding your hand tight; hear my deathly lusts, so fierce, and fulfil them; desiring you utterly... Oh now I live a life of sins! My soul cannot be redeemed for I am the Sinner; I yearned for you and I denied every god. No matter for the future or for my deeds, baleful or no! I shall live in seclusion, hate the heat of the other ones, looking for thine and longing for... Damnate! Cursed and damned forever I live now! because of you and what you did awake in my heart. Enthralled and bewitched we both are blameworthy...

Now I keep my Oath!!

- I assume that your oath is still unbroken...
- I was waiting for you but you were unreachable.
- Would you sacrifice for me when alive?
- Yeh.
No hesitation. She was sincere.
- I do love you, added she. I've sworn this oath long ago and I sealed it in the blood.
And then Azraël took his blade and cut a veil of his arm. He flooded the blood on his hand and took the arm of the soul. He spread the blood there and they kissed.
- Now your Oath has been sealed by the flesh and the blood, by our hearts and our souls. Definitely. For our sake and by our sakes.
He took her into his arms; she laid her head on his chest and they stayed lain in the Void.

[Hayastan]

Speech one: The Very Death, The Very Lust

- You didn't fear Death for you didn't understand what it deals with.
- Tell me Liebe...
- Well... Thus you died, you know the first part. When you are still alive you feel an aura next to you all your life long. This aura is your Death, and sometimes you can feel it. When hurt or wounded, you feel the fear twisting your neck and you think you're dying. Sometimes you die and sometimes no. In the second situation you hope for feeling the aura many years further. You always know death is beside you. We usually think that children cannot have a concrete idea about what is death and what is to be dead, but in fact they ain't oblivious, and they're perfectly aware about their own death. When death appears ahead you, you know it's time to leave this world. So you're taken in the Realms of Darkness, and you face up the Soul Seeker called Fiddler, and the Soul Collector called Reaper. Your soul is split from your body, and by the way the ashen path is built with the bodies of every soul that entered in. You know what we say; ashes to ashes and dust will be dust. Here you realize that the clock of life has struck the very end; it's all over and it cannot be undone.
» You just saw a part of the Realms of Darkness for I brought you willingly to the Realms of Death. Beyond the circle you plunged in, lays the ashen path. It leads to a wide place. Just imagine a huge clock. Around, a narrow corridor made with black stones. The corridor is then split in a thousand of corridors, each one leading to a cell. In each cell dwells a soul. The souls are free to travel in the realm. The clock is dark; the numbers are engraved in deep blue and there's a bell in the midst. When the bell is struck a new corridor appears, a new cell is shaped. From the ashen path lie other paths; they bring back their memories to the souls. These very souls spend their days and their nights wandering in their memories; they never sleep. Here in the other side time is still...
» Then we swiftly passed the Realms of Death. There burns the hellfire, and other souls dwell. They're called the Fallen. They walk amongst the fire and they float on the flames, for they are punished for their deeds. They see their memories too, but only the bad ones. That is their punishment. Fallen angels, martyrs, souls that are deceivers for Lucifer and souls that he had deceived, demons, evil spirits. They don't dwell in cells like those of the Realms of Darkness; they move everlastingly, and condemned to live their sins forever and ever. The souls that live in the Realms of Death can travel in the Realms of Darkness though, and there they can see their best memories, but they get pain and harm, and their travel time is limited. If they remain too long the wounds cannot disappear for they're too deep.
» Here we are in the Void. The Realms of Death and the Kingdom of Heaven are divided by this abyss. The Void is the shortest way to the paradise. But it's also the most dangerous and the sorest. For our fear of the Void returns and breaks through. We're all jeopardy in the Void. However there are souls who come in the Void to think, though only higher spirits are allowed to enter in. Because the Void is meant by his name; we enter there void of thoughts and our spirit is void, is the Void, is a part of it. We all are a part of the Void.
- You are the Void.
- Now tell me how did you live your very feelings.
- So... I realized what I felt too late. The feelings had been endeavouring to blast, I endeavoured to curb them but I couldn't. You can curb your feelings when they're weak or recent but it was suicidal for my sake. Thus I didn't matter. At first when I did realize what I began to feel I leaved it out. Then the feeling increased tenfold. What I considered as praise was awe, I saw you like a god and a philosopher and a utopia. The feeling made me see you wonderful and tremendous and uxorious and then I've been enthralled. It grew more and more intense and to extricate from it was harsh to me. Ohne Reue! But were these feelings tolerated? Forbidden? Verboten. It began with your voice; wistful, stubborn, awesome. I felt my heart chilling and numbing, thrilling and blithe when I heard it. So weird, such overwhelming, so much fierce... I understood suddenly... I couldn't love you...
» I've shattered my soul and you shattered my heart. For your sake and by your sake I've been accursed. I've been grieved. I shed tears of blood that I had to dry. The tears of my heart rent and I had to veil them. To prevent a life of desperation. Yea, I can talk that way. A drop of blood for my sorrow, a tear I shed among many others. For I am void of you everlastingly. You rend my heart and you shed my blood. You made me live and you slaughtered me. I knew you were out of reach, you'll be never mine but your soul belongs to me for I could seize every part of it. When the lust appeared I'd thought that I lost my faith. Is it the felony to the one I took for a god, for my atheism did forbid me to believe in any god; was I just a priestess bereft of a mind, forsaken and fake-devoted? The betrayal... Was I blameworthy of the loss of my faith? Yea, I am to blame. I should never have such feelings, but a feeling goes in and out quietly; it creeps in and out of your heart. And you cannot prevent it...
» So the lust did appear, and with it the very words, for sure I'd sacrifice for you. Thou rule my life and prevent my failures whatever I do. But you're uxorious and I could pierce the material side of my feelings. Damnate! I saw you, you've got a superb body and the only thing I was craving for was offering myself to you, giving me entirely to you, enter in my sake and awake lust and desires. Make me blithe and bring me heat until I come in flames. Lay your sensual and thin lips on mine; let me nestle next to your slender shapes and touching them, let my hands slide on your chest so tough!! Yeah! I desire you, I'd like to own you utterly, to make my hand sliding in your hair floating in the wind; I crave for kissing your mouth over and over again, your arms circling my waist and mine going down along your back and stopping on your bottom... Melting our breathes in a fierce, vehement and so long kiss; feeling your tongue against my teeth in a neverending embrace...
- You're not afraid to use frankness when you speak...
- I've always talked void of hesitation, void of lurking and void of lies.
- Don't you care of prejudices?
- Ohne Vorurteile!!
- Don't you mind of the other selves' opinion on what you think about?
- Nay! I'm in love with you and I shall scream it out!!
- You remember me a philosopher I dealt with.
- Nietzsche?
- Yeh. You have the same way of thinking.
- Save for religions. Nietzsche said "God is dead!", but for my sake God cannot be dead for he's never born. A nonexistent thing cannot die.
- Well... In fact you're not really like Nietzsche.
- Yea?
- You're more sceptical...

[Hayastan]

Speech 2: God Is Dead, Said The Last Man.

This is a wide tale. Since Nietzsche told it, it became a worldwide phenomenon. God is dead for we have been killing him. And it's the source of my religion, the atheism. Later I'd take you about the reverse, the pantheism and the stoicism. But let's keep being focused on the Nonexistent God. I've very soon denied their god, wondering what was a religion done for: nothing save war.
- You're cruel in your words. But a soul must believe in something. If you don't believe in anything you believe in the Void and thus you believe in Death and thus you're dead. Or a demon or a martyr.
- I believed in a soul. But I don't understand why you compare martyrs with demons. Are demons less evil than we think they are?
- Nay, but martyrs are wicked. They think they bleed for their God; I thought the same when faithful and plunged into deism and fascinated by some characters like Jesus or Judas. But when I passed on and reached the other side, when I became Azraël I saw that the God most of us believed in is nonexistent. So martyrs think to join heaven for their sacrifice and though they cannot for they believed in a nonexistent thing.
- Damnate, are you more sceptic than I am?
- Dunno. Now tell me. You did believe in a soul despite your atheism?
- I did believe in you. But for you were unreachable...
- ... you believed in the Void. But you've been truthful to me.
- I've been given the light I lusted for. You lifted my spirit up and brought me insight. You afforded me to see things that anyone could see. You were the god I never believed in. I trusted you and only you like if you were the only person on Earth. You weren't the Messiah that mankind awaited but the Messiah I expected. You are mine.
- I am thine. And our souls belong to each other.
- We are one.
- Linked by your faith and my grateful mind.
- Bound forever in the Void... I am void of you so I believe in the Void. What astonishing?
- You are void. You didn't believe in the Void for my soul was next to thine. You know, you don't need the presence of someone to feel his or her soul. You know about it, init?
- Yea, I've thought about it yet. I've often had relationships with friends in foreign countries. And I could know the personality of the person just talking with. I never met you but I knew a lot about you just because I read your words and construed the texts you've been writing. If I do love you, I have to study your philosophy utterly instead of trying to do like these lunatics who claimed to praise you; I mean just saying you're bright and no more.
- Yeh, these ones...